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Index » Society & Communities » Humor & Fun
 

Expert of Experts: Things HE Didn't Tell Neale About Choice

 
Author: Drew Kittinger

DK: If youre here, youre here. If not, Ill check back next week.

Present!

DK: Half of me goes, Oh, Crap, I aint up for this.

And the other half?

DK: It sits down like Pavlovs dog waiting for the bell.

Good. You, Drew, have access to all the soon-to-be Movers and Shakers. All the Experts who follow your lead will soon get closer to me, through you.

DK: Thats scary. Ive seen you reach an audience before

You forgot to type the (angrily!) part. Whats your beef?

DK: You kidding? Ive been reading the Bible. Remember that part where Moses was trying to get Pharaoh to let his people get out of Egypt?

Go on.

DK: Anyhow, the story was, youd have Moses go to Pharaoh and ask him to free his people. Every timetime after time, you made him obdurate. I even looked it up, it means obstinateunyielding. You made him respond that way. Then, when hed tell Moses No! Youd rain another plague down on the Egyptian people.

Turned him around eventually, didnt it?

DK: Thats major manipulative! But you know what? I aint complaining about what you did, its about how you did it.

Remind me.

DK: You can be pretty snide, you know?

You have any idea how many faces I have? For every gathering of people theres ever been, there I am, smiling down on them as if I were the only God in town. I have to. I have to get through to them on their terms.

DK: Youre not the only God in town?

Oh, many of you in groups get to believe youre experiencing a consistent character called God that stands true for anyone, but when it comes down to it, in order to really get through, this whole concept of God has to be personal and shape-shift all the time. So all it amounts to is you, as God, bringing forth a God that is just a reflection of yourself. I dont really live outside of you, but I do show up in ways that many of you can agree upon.

DK: Id get some comfort here, Im sure, except youve lost me.

What you agree upon manifests, thats all Im saying. When so many of you agree upon who I am, then thats what I become.

DK: So youre saying, since you are a reflection of the common beliefs of the people following Moses, and they were pretty strong in their common beliefs, you showed up as someone who could whoop the Gods of Egypts butts in ways that the people of Egypt -- especially the Pharoah could understand.

Something like that. Why are you laughing?

DK: Its a little hard for me to believe that any God could choose to create a people who would create a God who could be so cruel.

I dont get the humor.

DK: Whats left but to laugh? It says, right in the Bible that after making Pharoah obdurate one more time, then you rained emerods down on the people of Egypt.

and?

DK: I looked that up, too. An emerod is a hemmorhoid! I cant imagine anything as downright evilYES! Evil, than having a whole country of people having hemorrhoids at the same time no less. And thats centuries before Preparation H!

Thats just the best thing I could come up with at the time. I get to be creative about the means I use, and if you provide the technology, Ill use it, but sometimes, I have to improvise while I do what you say.

DK: Wait a minute. Do what we say? No matter how destructive?

This is a little tricky. I have made choice for you so sacred even I dont mess with it. Yet, I really dont have any choice but to do what you ask in my name.

DK: Sorry for the chuckle here, but youre saying you dont have any choice?

Now, its my turn to throw in (angrily!).

DK: Oh, Shit! Was that an Earthquake?

Do you think I made the choice to mobilize millions of Germans to believing it was My will kill 27 MILLION Russians? Or that I liked the idea that the Japanese went and killed 20 Million Chinese on orders from their Emperor, who, by the way, was considered God on earth? And then youll say, well, it was me who gave you Americans the directive to stop all that destruction by carpet-bombing hundreds of thousands of civilians to their deaths to end the war. And today there are forces on both sides patrolling the Holy Land! blowing themselves and others up because theres only one God and they own him. Why would this benevolent Being you speak about make such choices?

DK: I dont know if this will make you feel any better, but based on what you say, youre only as cruel as we want you to be.

Spread the Word!

Author Bio:

Drew Kittinger

Drew Kittinger, ShK (School of hard Knocks) consults consultants who want to consult consultants. This is not as easy as it may seem. Consultants are typically so sure they've got it figured out, they barely listen to themselves, let alone others.

So, he'll settle to be that "still, small voice" for the consulting and entrepreneurial world until someone actually listens to him, follows his instructions, gets rich and then becomes his Patron in which case, he'll shut up and let you get on with your work..

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