How do you know when youve picked the perfect gift? Do you wait for a smile? A romantic inflection of the voice? A warm hug, and a big thank you? Isnt that the ultimate goal? To please the people you love the most? What if there were a way to always pick the perfect gift? Well, there is

One technique that works well at our house is the To Buy File. We each have one. In the file we put in pictures of what we want to have, write down titles of books, CDs, places we want to go or workshops wed like to experience. We put in pictures of things we only dream wed have some day as well. Included is a wide-range of items with an equally wide range of prices. Sometimes we even include honey do stuff, like things wed like to see get done around the house, a massage, or a romantic dinner at a local restaurant.

Now, when a special occasion arises (like Christmas, birthdays, or other holidays), I just go to my husbands To Buy file and pick out a few things that are within my predetermined budget. To Buy Files need to be in a place where everyone can access them.

If you are anything like me, I find that I sometimes spend more money for other people than I should, even though I purchase a Christmas present or two each month throughout the year. So when someone asks me what I want, I used to automatically say, Oh, I dont need anything, or Id tell them I wanted something cheap (which I really didnt want) because I didnt feel like there was any money to spend.

Now I say, Look in my, To Buy file. Last fall, I took the concept a step further. I organized these items in list form on my computer putting the items I would prefer most to have most at the top of the list.

Giving is good, but spiritual development only progresses when the process goes both ways. The To Buy File is one way of asking for and getting what you really want. Let the person who is buying for you decide how much they can afford. They love you and want to please you. Dont take that pleasure of giving away from them. Let them pamper you. You deserve it.

2005 by Dr. Denice M. Moffat
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