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How to Recognize and Overcome the Don't Fears

 
Author: Leanne Hoagland-Smith

When we hear the word "conditioning," many of us are reminded of Pavlov and his work with dogs. Over 100 years ago, Ivan Pavlov published his efforts on what he termed "conditioned reflex." Through conditioning of repeated external actions, he was able to get a dog to drool without feeding the dog.

Pavlov demonstrated that external responses can condition animals and this is true of human beings. Think back to your earliest school days when you sat in your classrooms. You learned that sitting up front near the teacher's desk resulted in you receiving more attention (external action). Students in the back of the room appeared not to be called upon as much and were not under the "eye" of the teacher. Within a few years, you were conditioned that sitting in the front was not as desirable as sitting in the back. This "classical conditioning" stayed with you even as an adult. Have you ever attended a conference, seminar or large meeting where very few adults sat in the front and the majority of adults sat between the middle and back of the room?

Another prime example of early conditioning centers around the parent/child relationship. Since parents are concerned about their children's health and welfare, the word "No" is quite prevalent in the early childhood years. We all have heard some, if not all, of the following expressions: "Don't write on the walls," "Don't run into the street," "Don't speak to strangers" and "Don't go to where you are not wanted or ask." As we become a little older, we are conditioned to receive a consequence for our failure to obey the "Don'ts". Many of us can remember that consequence as "Wait until your father gets home." This early conditioning turns us from "Don't" children into "Can't adults."

Again as adults, we carry this negative conditioning into our daily lives. For example, what is the number one fear for over 50% of all salespeople including budding entrepreneurs and small business owners? Cold calling or talking to strangers. Picking up the phone and dialing a complete stranger activates two of our earliest childhood "Don'ts." Don't talk to strangers and Don't go where you are not wanted.

Another example of conditioning is taking tests. During the last 5 years, I have surveyed hundreds of adults where 80% or more believe that they are poor test takers. This belief started in school where they probably didn't do well on tests (external) action. As the years progress, this external stimulus created stress and anxiety. Mention the word test and some adults respond physically through increased heart beats to perspiration. Until the adults recognize that part of the reason, not necessarily all of the reason, for poor testing resides in their belief through conditioning that they are poor test takers, they will continue to be poor test takers.

For me, conditioning is very apparent specific to "medical shots." As a child, I was very sickly and had monthly, if not weekly, shots from our doctor who had that time made house calls. I remember one Christmas Eve that my mother and the doctor chased me around the house to give me another shot. To this day, fifty years later, I have a very difficult time around taking shots. Overcoming those early years of conditioning, is still a challenge. However, I recognize the reason for this fear and, thank heavens, no longer have to be chased around the room.

The examples of conditioning are too many for just one article. However, understanding that conditioning still continues in our lives is the first step to overcome what I call the "Don't Fears of Misery and Scarcity" By looking as to why we fear something, we may discover that the fear was created years ago from our early childhood experiences. Now as adults, we can then take the appropriate actions to overcome those "Don't Fears of Misery and Scarcity" and embrace "Joy and Abundance."

One of the best actions is to change those conditioned behaviors is to adopt the following belief: I will receive what I believe. By believing that I will receive the joy and abundance, I will receive what I believe. Today, I use this positive self-talk statement or affirmation to continue to overcome the affects of childhood conditioning and thereby improving my performance. You, too, can defeat your own "Don't Fears" and create a life filled with joy and abundance. The choice is yours.

Word Count: 740

Copyright 2005(c) Leanne Hoagland-Smith, www.processspecialist.com

This article may be freely published. Permission to publish this article, electronically or in print, as long as the bylines are included, with a live link, and the article is not changed in any way (grammatical corrections accepted).

Author Bio:

Leanne Hoagland-Smith

Good Day. Thanks for visiting. I hope that you have enjoyed my articles. In 1999, I founded ADVANCED SYSTEMS because I saw that performance could and should be doubled in warp time. Individuals, small and large businesses could not afford expensive solutions that may or may not deliver improved results in 12 months.

From my corporate, small business and education experiences, I recognized the individuals must have opportunities for connecting their passion to their purpose to secure the desired performance results, but many lacked the necessary skills, strategies and tools.

With over 20 years in sales management and 10 years in education, I understand how to unite productivity with profitability by developing a proactive working culture. My previous experiences resulted in cost savings through one of the first implementations of a computer software in a wholesaler distributor to the creation of a vendor performance assessment.

Since facilitating over 500 sessions, developing and editing over 25 training programs and writing numerous articles focusing on performance improvement, I bring a results focused approach to my clients. Also, I am proud to be one of the first five nationally certified facilitators of America?s Rising Stars (a Student Leadership developmental curriculum).

My passion is to help others connect their passion to their purpose to double performance. As The small business coach in Chicago, my clients have easily doubled their performance. Since our greatest resource is our young people, I am now working with large urban schools to generate the same results.

Education Background

  • Graduated with honors from Purdue University with a B.A. in Education
  • Earned M.S. from Purdue University in Instructional Design and Curriculum
  • Published in the national trade journal, The Supply House Times, and numerous national newsletters
  • Developed seminars and training on diversity, communication, leadership, sales, effective trade show behavior, networking, knowledge management, goal setting and improved educational outcomes
  • Co-authored M.A.G.I.C.A.L. Potential: 7 Capicities for Living an Amazing Life Beyond Purpose to Achievement, to be available in 2006
  • Working a another book focusing on performance in public education
  • Speaker in a national bureau - Resource Associates Corporation

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